i've been selling chocolates for, uh, five years (holy shit). now that i'm in college i only work the sporadic holiday-schedule, but it's autopilot at this point. and let me follow that up by saying the most i've ever been involved in the chocolate-making process is dipping cashews and cutting fudge (so that i can eat them). i really don't even know how most of this shit even works (e.g. i have no idea what that blue machine, picture down below, is; can-opener?)--- i do know that the machine & conveyor belt organism (pictured up top) is like that candy-coater in the i love lucy bit, but our machine doesn't work nearly that fast (and we don't get to wear chef hats)
the store has been in biz since 1929 and there's all these 'crepid letters/orders from the white house and hollywood, which people like to stare at--- good thing it's behind glass; bad thing it's in a corner i have to walk thru, so dummies is always fuckin with maflow.
the extent of my work is basic clerical; i stand behind a long desk and when a customer wants to pick out a box i have to walk around an upside-down U; the cupped chocolates are on trays, which are on fance tables with glass sneeze-guards (but the glass is half-way open on top so that dicks are always trying to touch the chocos, EVENTHOUGH there are labels on the front of the glass---- read: DONT TOUCH, YA DICKS) and other than that all i do is answer the phone and take stock, so, good life is the life i live.
we've gone through 1, 2, 3, 4 candy-makers in five years, but i didn't know the earlier ones, since i would work upstairs and mostly in the afternoon or weekends, and they work weekday morns down in the basement-factory complex. but it smells so yummy-yoimmy-delicious when the candy-maker is cookin that bubble baby chocolate lava--- i'm constantly hovering around waiting for candy rejects (paying customers have 100% higher standards than me)
the store has been in biz since 1929 and there's all these 'crepid letters/orders from the white house and hollywood, which people like to stare at--- good thing it's behind glass; bad thing it's in a corner i have to walk thru, so dummies is always fuckin with maflow.
the extent of my work is basic clerical; i stand behind a long desk and when a customer wants to pick out a box i have to walk around an upside-down U; the cupped chocolates are on trays, which are on fance tables with glass sneeze-guards (but the glass is half-way open on top so that dicks are always trying to touch the chocos, EVENTHOUGH there are labels on the front of the glass---- read: DONT TOUCH, YA DICKS) and other than that all i do is answer the phone and take stock, so, good life is the life i live.
we've gone through 1, 2, 3, 4 candy-makers in five years, but i didn't know the earlier ones, since i would work upstairs and mostly in the afternoon or weekends, and they work weekday morns down in the basement-factory complex. but it smells so yummy-yoimmy-delicious when the candy-maker is cookin that bubble baby chocolate lava--- i'm constantly hovering around waiting for candy rejects (paying customers have 100% higher standards than me)
we mostly get high-brow, molders (whom, BUT OF COURSE, have been coming there since ghost of 50 christmas years past) and they always insist on shipping boxes during the summer, even though they gonna melt as soon as it's walked outside. but my favorite are the foreigners. say what? yeah, heard right, i like the pigeon-english tourists, but mostly because they like---- MARZIPAN!!!!
i mean i fu-ckin love marzipan, but whenever i tell customers what it is (they never know what it is) and they hear almond paste, they barf in their mouth-- what's up with that? ugh, they're losing out! marzipan just smells good and me & the foreigners are the only ones that appreciate 'em. we just have dark chocolate-covered pieces now, but we used to have these fruit-shaped ones and they were gorgeous (i think i would graze on three per session)
i also do love when the kids come in after school (it always surprises me when kids are polite, i don't think i was ever like that) and specially during the summer because there's a group of girls who set up a lemonade stand right out front and they always give me a cup of that straight syrup, freshing.
i mean i fu-ckin love marzipan, but whenever i tell customers what it is (they never know what it is) and they hear almond paste, they barf in their mouth-- what's up with that? ugh, they're losing out! marzipan just smells good and me & the foreigners are the only ones that appreciate 'em. we just have dark chocolate-covered pieces now, but we used to have these fruit-shaped ones and they were gorgeous (i think i would graze on three per session)
i also do love when the kids come in after school (it always surprises me when kids are polite, i don't think i was ever like that) and specially during the summer because there's a group of girls who set up a lemonade stand right out front and they always give me a cup of that straight syrup, freshing.
#1 question: you eat all the chocolate?
answer (spoken): teehee, yes.
answer (thought): hell i look like? a'carse! this shit is premium gangbusters, madude.
best part: i am a ferrero rocher commercial
worst part: chocolate on your teeth?
No comments:
Post a Comment